Honestie

Saw something really unpleasant just now..
Ok, it's time to tell myself not to lie to myself anymore..

Yes I always think too much, yes I always being sensitive..
But did I mention that I'm good in predicting I have a strong sixth sense?

나쁜 사람이야!! 싫어 싫어!!
난 정말로 미워!! 왜 거짓말을 해??

Stop acting in front of me, just leave me!!
It does hurt more to break your so called white lies!!

Go-go away-ay-ay-ay-ay!! 비켜줄래!!

envy..

sorry for not updating my blog for centuries..
i kinda envy those who can update their blog at least once a week..

after i came to my degree life, i dont even have time to sleep..
it do satisfy me when i can sleep for 4hrs..

T-T 2 more years..
just hold on, i know i can do that..

twill be a harder time when u have to face it alone..
*i divorced with my wife..

good luck to me..
good luck to those who facing relationship problems too..

Checklist before World's End

haha it's time to update my blog again!!
i know it's kinda long~ i mean, it's LLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNGG~!!
but i'm back!! miss me huh?

hhmm.. recently kinda addicted to facebook..
and twitter of cz.. cz i can see SuJu's update over there haha!!
i got insane with these online networking..
last time i added Will Ng (a malaysian singer, i ♥ his song Memory..)
and he approved my friend request!! AAAAAHHHHH!! happy nea~ ♥
then i saw Guan Qi Yuan's profile and i added him.. and he approved me as well haha!!
but kinda disappointed that Jeffrey didnt accept my friend request.. T_T
few days back i saw Jessica Jung at the Facebook suggestion..
and i found out it's real her!! but there stated she only add ppl she knows in real life.. but i added her!! stubborn huh? juz to see her update.. not to kacau her.. nonit to accept la k?
then i found DongHae's and EunHyuk's profile there.. (=
out of 6 friends of her.. happy-nye~

it's sad thinking all these is gonna end soon in 2012.. (if it's real)
dont know y i take very seriously on the world's end prediction..
mayb it's due to the stress of the exam?
dont even have chance to.. SHOW OFF?? my good result.. (if i reali get one^^ )
nola.. i lazy to study..

maybe it's time to set some goals for my life..
hmmm.. let's arrange those stuff 1st..

what i wanna be?
during primary schl, everyone wana become teachers in future duuhhh!!
ok secondary schl.. during F4 we were asked to write down our ambition and paste it on our table..
and i wrote.. photographer.. fashion designer.. pharmacist.. engineer.. singer.. and novelist.. if im not mistaken..
and now.. im studying advertising.. even though intended to become a DJ at the 1st place.. ok no regret!! every different path lead me to different future.. i might get the better one..

ok now let's decide!!
teacher? duhhh!! FYI both of my parents are teacher.. i mean, was..
i dont want my children to have the same stress as mine in the future..
huh? children? i hate children.. sry.. summo it's 10 more years to go~ relax~~
back to the main.. during primary schl, i cant feel proud when i get 1st place in any event, competition or even result!!
"of cz la~ u're teacher's child wert!!" this is the sentence i hate the most!!

next.. photograher? haha!! no interested anymore..
last time i accepted the job to become a photographer in a camp..
simply bcz i do not want myself to be included in all those photos..
indeed it wasn't a camp for me.. xD

fashion designer.. why!!!??
mayb i included juz bcz i do not what to write on the paper?
*i ♥ the design of my secondary schlmate.. she's pro!!

pharmacist? why again?
engineer? why!!? maybe affected by my darl darl wife~
juz a reminder, i was a pure science student..

novelist? i love writing stories.. but not reading..
so this is OUT!! ~.~ tend to fall asleep..

singer? with my crow like voice? duhhh!!
ok la i love singing a lot!! juz take it as a 'recreation' LOL~
p/s: i won some places during my primary schl time in Bahau..
after i shift to PD i dont sing anymore..
until JJ's six album debut!!! with PQYK.. and won the 1st place wakakakah!!
ish i miss JJ's again..

i really blur about my future..
so as now.. could only pray hard!!

hmm.. why i dont wana become DJ? hmmm.. too much competitors out there..
and i'm nothing..
when i was choosing course i simply tick and 'advertising' is what god led me..
amitabha~ thx~

wait wait wait!! after so much i've concluded nothing!!!????

owh~!!

now let's go to what i like..

i like JJ.. i like SS501.. SuJu.. BigBang.. 2NE1..
owh wait!! why all these coming out?
ok i love nice songs and i love to sing!!

i love maths.. a lot!! i nvr get less than 90% in maths.. (not add maths k?)
until secondary schl i mostly get more than 96% and sometimes 100%..
cool huh?
unless got one time, due to competitions practices and i didnt attend few classes.. i lost marks in the most 'expensive' question.. 10%.. argh~
the main point here is... maths is useless.. ermm.. not as useful in advertising..
haih~~~~ a big sigh here..

i love languages..
during PMR.. if im not mistaken im the only 1 in my schl who score A's for all 3 language subjects.. english, malay and chinese.. damn good luck!! haha~ (correct me if i'm wrong..) sry juz to fulfill my regret feeling for not getting 8A's..
and damn good luck i became the pelajar cemerlang for chinese.. and maths as well la..
the same thing goes to SPM.. i became the pelajar cemerlang for these 2 subjects..
i hate.. i mean, i dont like science!!
after i get in F4 i nvr listen to class.. skipped classes..
but not for maths k?
..and, i got only 4A's for SPM.. know what!? it's maths and the 3 language subjects.. ahhh~
after i came to UTAR i start hating english.. and it slided backwards..
i dont know why.. 모든 일이 퇴보하고 있다..
ha~ it's ok.. as long as i still able to communicate..
ok now im able to communicate in mandarin, english and malay..
and i learned to speak cantonese after i came to UTAR.. ah! thx a lot~
i once learned french, but juz for fun~ and i forgot everything.. haha!!
ermm.. i understand some hokkien but not speaking..
and im learning korean as well.. thx to the korean songs and TTplayer i manage to sing along with the lyrics..
i know it seems impossible but i WISH i can finish learning my korean before i take japanese language in the end of this year.. pray hard i can get my japanese.. (=

next i love advertising.. i appreciate what gods gave me.. amitabha
and i trust my sixth sense.. there's lots of deja vu in my life..
i know it sounds crazy.. argh~ nthg to do with it though.. anything..

ok now let's go to the check list..
after saying for so much it's seems nothing much related to what to do before Dec27, 2012.
i mean.. what to do in 2 1/2 years where i finish my study in 2 years?
(pray hard i wont fail any subject.. cz my following sems all full credit hrs d..)

Checklist before World's End
- graduate with 3.0 at least!!
- make a passport
- travel to singapore duhh~ nearest to malaysia T-T
- travel to korea..
- climb Kinabalu's mountain.. perhaps they allow an asthma patient to trek?
- go learn some musical instruments after i got my own money..

gonna add more soon..
dont wana 'leave' my life with regrets!!

finally thx for viewing this long winded blog~
neomu neomu kamsahamnida~

=)

Xyph's Existing Situation

Feeling dissatisfied in her current situation and has a strong desire to escape or find an immediate solution.

Xyph's Stress Sources

"Feels unappreciated and in an unpleasant position. Needs personal recognition and the respect of others, since she has not been about to find partners who value the same things she does. she holds back her emotions and is unable to give fully of himself, but lasting isolation makes her want to change those ways and surrender to her deep urges. Giving in to her natural instincts and urges is a sign of weakness, so feeling this way makes her weak and irritable. Fighting these urges makes her feel stronger, as if she can take on anything that comes her way. Longs to be valued as an important associate and admired for her personal qualities."

Xyph's Restrained Characteristics

"Self-centered, tends to take this personally and is easily offended, which leaves her feeling isolated."

"Feels she is carry more than her share of problems. she is flexible and laid back, sticking to her goals and working to overcome any difficulty."

"Feels she is carry more than her share of problems. she is flexible and laid back, sticking to her goals and working to overcome any difficulty."

"Although she feels isolated and alone, she is afraid of forming deep, meaningful relationships. Is conceited and is easily offended."

"Feels trapped in a helpless situation and is desperately seeking relief. she is able to find pleasure and happiness in sexual activity, as long as there is not a lot of conflict or emotional difficulty."

Xyph's Desired Objective

Feels as if her hopes and dreams have been unfairly stomped on by others. Irritated and upset with her current situation which she feels is an insult to her true desires.

Xyph's Actual Problem

His desire to be respected and to stand out from the crowd is not being satisfied and therefore she is feeling anxious. her normal friendly self is being held back and she refuses to become involved or participate with others in normal day to day activities.

Xyph's Actual Problem #2

"Feeling a lack of energy, she does not wish to be involved in further activity or give in to demands. she is feeling powerless causing her stress, agitation, and irritation, all which she tries to escape by refusing to participate altogether. she is determined to get her own way in the end and is cautious as she puts her plan in action."

CURSE

what a cursed family..

a self-righteous father..
a closed-minded mother..
a bad-tempered elder brother..
a weird thinking elder sister..
n.. a scheme-less younger brother..

mayb i'm the 1 who's weird..

desperate..

i was desperate.. once..

dont know what happened to me recently..
i thought i should be desperate..
especially when seeing all my friend pattoh here pattoh there..
hmm.. too busy to desperate..maybe..

my friend said, im so useless..
cz nobody wants me..
c'mon, is i dont want them ok?

i have to admit that i have high expectation when choosing partner..
and i have to admit that i'm so fan-jian..
actually there were few of them that i kinda admire them..
however when they came to me i rejected them..

anyway.. what for i pattoh? what for i having a bf?
dont u feel the same way?
sry if i offended u..
i think most of the ppl here pattoh bcz their friends are pattoh-ing..
what for i have a bf for that reason?

some even worse..
they pattoh bcz they wana take advantage of their partners..

haih haih~ kinda disappointed..

izit weird that someone thats nearly no longer a teenager nvr been in a date b4?
if ur answer is yes..
ya, mayb u're right..
i admit im a weird person.

i nvr want to be in a date that fills my loneliness..
i dont wana be in a date that makes me lose my freedom..
(im a typically libra*)

at least, i still have a wife that loves me..
and of course, i love her too..
this healthy relationship makes us happy..

cute~

he's cute..